tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56242196802728114292024-02-19T14:09:05.160+11:00Just As I AmA blog by Ben Gresham // A reflection on my life and the challenges of being a gay young man in the modern day Christian church. After becoming a Christian, Ben then went through three years of ex-gay programs and reparative therapy enduring several suicide attempts, breakdowns and challenges. After admitting that nothing had really changed despite all the hard work, prayer, counselling and exorcisms. In 2008, Ben finally came out and found out that you could be gay and be a Christian.Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-9802770123032817542021-08-16T17:19:00.004+10:002021-08-16T17:23:43.344+10:00Australian gay conversion documentary 'The Cure' now on YouTube<p>Hi all,</p><p>Back in 2013 I was featured in a documentary called 'The Cure' which looked at gay conversion programs and practices in Australia. I shared my story in the hope of raising awareness about the damages of gay conversion practices and a desire to see these types of programs shut down. After many years, it's now available on YouTube to watch for free. It's still the only full length documentary on the topic in Australia. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="368" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hSO5YZjg0eI" width="550" youtube-src-id="hSO5YZjg0eI"></iframe></div><br /><p>A similar, American documentary, called '<a href="https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370">Pray Away</a>' was just released on Netflix. Check that out too, if you have time!</p><p>I can't believe that in 2021 these types of programs and practices are still completely legal in NSW, Australia. If you want to encourage the Government to take action please sign this <a href="https://www.change.org/p/praying-the-gay-away-nearly-killed-me-outlaw-lgbtqa-conversion-practices">petition</a>. After signing this petition, please read the recommendations in the survivor statement at <a href="http://www.SOGICEsurvivors.com.au">www.SOGICEsurvivors.com.au</a></p><p>Cheers,</p><p>Ben</p>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-47946540527904475612021-08-16T17:04:00.000+10:002021-08-16T17:04:04.956+10:00Happy, gay and married!<p>Hi all,</p><p>It's been a long time between posts. I'm doing well and generally don't feel the need to post very often anymore. I'm happily married to another man and have been since marriage equality was legalised in Australia back in January 2018. In fact... we were one of the first Australian same-sex couples to get legally married. We even made it to the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/12/world/australia/gay-marriage-business.html">New York Times</a>!</p><p>A highlights video of our wedding is below. It was magical. After a really difficult time in my youth I have been very blessed to experience a wonderful love in my husband Michael. Dreams can come true! </p><p>Cheers,</p><p>Ben</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="347" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XhvSvau1sEc" width="542" youtube-src-id="XhvSvau1sEc"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-75312145031654109892015-08-05T09:52:00.001+10:002015-08-05T10:40:58.705+10:00Gay people and Hillsong Church? At last... some clarityEarly this morning, Brian Houston, the Senior Pastor of Hillsong Church, issued a <a href="http://brianchouston.com/blog/2015/08/do-i-love-gay-people/" target="_blank">statement</a> in response to the controversy surrounding <a href="http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=34483" target="_blank">reports</a> that Hillsong NYC had an engaged gay couple leading the church choir. Many people on both sides of the fence (right-wing Christians and left-leaning LGBTs) quickly spread the word that "Hillsong was now gay-affirming" without really checking the facts or asking anybody in senior leadership at Hillsong church what their position really was.<br />
<br />
Hillsong's position on homosexuality has been rather murky and misunderstood by many. Pastor Brian Houston and the church have done a better job in recent years communicating with the public, however, they have often been wary of discussing their stance on homosexuality, marriage equality and gay people in leadership.<br />
<br />
In an effort to clear up the matter once and for all, Pastor Brian Houston issued this statement today - <a href="http://brianchouston.com/blog/2015/08/do-i-love-gay-people/" target="_blank">"Do I Love Gay People"</a>. This <a href="http://brianchouston.com/blog/2015/08/do-i-love-gay-people/" target="_blank">statement</a> answers the questions that many of us have been asking for some time. I have quoted parts of the statement from Pastor Brian Houston below some key observations.<br />
<br />
<b>Hillsong still views homosexuality as a lifestyle choice:</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Hillsong Church welcomes ALL people but does not affirm all lifestyles. Put clearly, we do not affirm a gay lifestyle and because of this we do not knowingly have actively gay people in positions of leadership, either paid or unpaid. I recognise this one statement alone is upsetting to people on both sides of this discussion, which points to the complexity of the issue for churches all over the world".</blockquote>
<br />
<b>Hillsong reaffirms its position against same-sex marriage:</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"I also live by my own convictions, and hold to traditional Christian thought on gay lifestyles and gay marriage. I do believe God’s word is clear that marriage is between a man and a woman. The writings of the apostle Paul in scripture on the subject of homosexuality are also clear, as I have mentioned in previous public statements".</blockquote>
<br />
<b>Gay people can attend Hillsong but not be part of leadership roles:</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"So if you are gay, are you welcome at Hillsong Church? Of course! You are welcome to attend, worship with us, and participate as a congregation member with the assurance that you are personally included and accepted within our community. But (this is where it gets vexing), can you take an active leadership role? No".</blockquote>
<br />
<h3>
My thoughts:</h3>
I understand that this statement can be upsetting for many people, particularly if you are gay or lesbian and part of Hillsong Church. I know that there are many of you hoping that the church will move forward on this issue and one day welcome you to participate fully in the life of the church. Although I am upset too, it's important to remember that Hillsong has taken some steps forward in the past few years. The church is now talking about the issue more and they no longer support or refer gay people to harmful 'ex-gay' or reparative/conversion programs and therapies.<br />
<br />
This statement includes a really important note from Pastor Brian confirming that the church will allow gay and lesbian people to attend and you won't be kicked out for having a partner - <i>"So if you are gay, are you welcome at Hillsong Church? Of course!"</i>. This is a step forward, no matter how you look at it!<br />
<br />
If you are looking for an affirming church, then sadly Hillsong isn't the place for you but thankfully there are a growing number of welcoming churches who fully support and include LGBTI people and recognise that being gay is not a choice, nor is it a sin. There are also a growing number of support and social groups like <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/" target="_blank">freedom2b</a> in Australia and the <a href="https://www.gaychristian.net/" target="_blank">Gay Christian Network</a> in the United States that can connect you with other people like you and support you on your journey.<br />
<h4>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6ZnDjqkoT9DGFsn9xLoKrL0EpyiCyuO95usUP0EgKOvgOLLSmtnNAUAJzU63_oGLibF0FZCiTXIePXmSoLjXr3HFM7t2kJAGZspnbJXFztqWuKRX9NNvY7dOj3T3FWF-pv_0N2ElfwT8/s1600/tweet.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6ZnDjqkoT9DGFsn9xLoKrL0EpyiCyuO95usUP0EgKOvgOLLSmtnNAUAJzU63_oGLibF0FZCiTXIePXmSoLjXr3HFM7t2kJAGZspnbJXFztqWuKRX9NNvY7dOj3T3FWF-pv_0N2ElfwT8/s320/tweet.png" width="180" /></a>
Keeping the conversation going:</h4>
It can be easy to dismiss this recent <a href="http://brianchouston.com/blog/2015/08/do-i-love-gay-people/" target="_blank">statement</a> from Pastor Brian and Hillsong and label the church as homophobic, but I think that does a disservice to other LGBT people in the church and to those in leadership who are trying to handle this the best way that they know how to. It's important to acknowledge small steps and to encourage leadership to keep moving forward. We owe it to the many gay and lesbian people who call Hillsong church home and to the many church members who have a gay son, lesbian sister, transgender daughter, etc. The conversation must continue and it must always be full of grace, on both sides.<br />
<br />
After reading the statement this morning, I took the time to send a quick tweet to Pastor Brian just to thank him for his clarity and to keep the conversation going. We may not agree 100% but I won't let our disagreements get in the way of a friendship or an important conversation.<br />
<br />
Have a great week. Lots of love!<br />
Ben<br />
<br />Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-27562763627526288232013-01-08T20:51:00.000+11:002013-08-21T13:33:16.717+10:00My story on Channel Ten's The Project<span style="font-size: small;">Hi everyone,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Just letting you know that my story appeared on <a href="http://theprojecttv.com.au/reconciling-being-gay-with-god.htm" target="_blank">The Project</a> on Channel 10 (Australia) last Wednesday evening (2nd January 2013). As far as I know, this is the first time that mainstream national television has looked at the topic of gay Christians during a primetime slot.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ic.s.tsatic-cdn.net/391/635_340/bcb7c_391029.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://ic.s.tsatic-cdn.net/391/635_340/bcb7c_391029.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">So far, the response has been mostly positive. I love reading your emails and messages and I'm encouraged by how much the story meant to people. :)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I am so proud of my parents and of my amazing partner Sam. If you've read some of my earlier blog entries then you would understand just how significant it is to have my parents speak on national television.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-size: small;">You can watch the video here:</span></b><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UdxvU59bQsU" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Let me know what you thought about the segment? Are you surprised that 'ex-gay' programs are still run in Australia? Is there more that can be done to support LGBTI Christians? Should 'ex-gay'/conversion programs and therapies be made illegal for minors?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Thanks also to <b><i>SameSame</i></b> who posted an article on the story: <a href="http://www.samesame.com.au/news/local/9302/Church-told-teen-You-can-change.htm">http://www.samesame.com.au/news/local/9302/Church-told-teen-You-can-change.htm</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Much love,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Ben</span><br />
<br />Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-65709271923192433472012-09-04T23:17:00.002+10:002012-09-04T23:24:56.589+10:00Food for thought<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieiyHapR0O5w6wFVi8-QZsx6ZBLppK2-qvJsERI1MUfsiWyCw0WCcg1cAEMKqlUt_-POYp_9x7Vq12lb4gkf14FKVcD5tPu91YXyybdtQCqdBQAXdGIK8GGr5OvJ3XFdzmyDLNhCU0MDs/s1600/1946+RSV.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 283px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieiyHapR0O5w6wFVi8-QZsx6ZBLppK2-qvJsERI1MUfsiWyCw0WCcg1cAEMKqlUt_-POYp_9x7Vq12lb4gkf14FKVcD5tPu91YXyybdtQCqdBQAXdGIK8GGr5OvJ3XFdzmyDLNhCU0MDs/s400/1946+RSV.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5784310773108142002" border="0" /></a><br />Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-37563107428559497402012-05-24T22:26:00.012+10:002013-08-21T13:36:33.423+10:00Breakfast with Brian: Hillsong, Homosexuality and the Future<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL2aQQZAZ6uDnj8Znz1RlskZtOdSzSGQQMQnNe1sHpN5XlIOm-fkx4Wb9fRDJxCW3oq8aO5I9gZVtqzRLPhdUFehqhVS8ZQLwSxmKzmlreGkPfezhNMPOL-m-hNVFRYMA35m1yI1LUMK4/s1600/brian+and+I.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5746075305909195378" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL2aQQZAZ6uDnj8Znz1RlskZtOdSzSGQQMQnNe1sHpN5XlIOm-fkx4Wb9fRDJxCW3oq8aO5I9gZVtqzRLPhdUFehqhVS8ZQLwSxmKzmlreGkPfezhNMPOL-m-hNVFRYMA35m1yI1LUMK4/s400/brian+and+I.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 301px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-style: italic;">A blog entry on my breakfast with the Senior Pastor of Hillsong Church, Brian Houston. This entry shares Brian’s thoughts on homosexuality, gays in church, the future of the church and dealing with the whole ‘gay issue'.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Hillsong Church claims that over 20,000 people attend their Sydney services every weekend. Conservative figures state that the population who are gay or lesbian is somewhere between 6 to 10% (Gallup, 2012). If this is true then there are anywhere from 1,200 to 2000 gay and lesbian members of Hillsong Church in Sydney alone. These figures really prompt me to be open and honest, in the hope that many others will follow. The figures also raise concern as LGBTI (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender, Intersex) people are the highest suicide risk group in Australia (<a href="http://suicidepreventionaust.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/SPA-GayLesbian-PositionStatement.pdf">Suicide Prevention Australia, 2009</a>) and yet the church thinks its ok just to ignore them.</span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFQEu3Haa99-jG6z8xjZBjfvDvCsbLwPwsTFNQPJUIA2gpwCHgo4eyk6TbKdkBra0gR1cAqnpYoQWsWfbeQpkyuzQS333Om2_CV9tHHOCJQqSnOxT0DS8GotQoIEshw18880bi4kfIZSk/s1600/66271_482821272391_568732391_6811705_1533996_n+%25282%2529.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5746078316087670338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFQEu3Haa99-jG6z8xjZBjfvDvCsbLwPwsTFNQPJUIA2gpwCHgo4eyk6TbKdkBra0gR1cAqnpYoQWsWfbeQpkyuzQS333Om2_CV9tHHOCJQqSnOxT0DS8GotQoIEshw18880bi4kfIZSk/s320/66271_482821272391_568732391_6811705_1533996_n+%25282%2529.jpg" style="cursor: hand; float: left; height: 320px; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 214px;" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">My involvement in freedom2b and the upcoming trip to Brisbane for the Asia-Pacific Suicide Prevention Conference in 2010 prompted me to do something about the alarming rates of suicide amongst LGBTI people and so one day I decided to send a tweet (twitter) to the Senior Pastor of my church, Brian Houston (Brian) not thinking much more of it. Surprisingly he chose to respond, asking me if I would like to do coffee. It seems simple but in reality this was a breakthrough and after so much written communication between Brian and me, here I was finally getting a chance to meet face-to-face.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">It was a beautiful friday morning on the 12th November 2010 in Glenhaven in Sydney’s North West. I drove there from my parent’s house in Cherrybrook and arrived at the cafe early to pray and to make sure I was prepared for what was to be a very important meeting. I remember sitting there, knowing that this meeting was important not only for me, but also very important for the many gay and lesbian people at the Hillsong churches around the world.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">As Brian Houston walked into the café, it seemed like he was more nervous of this conversation happening than I was. He shook my hand, mentioned my name, smiled and we said good morning to each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">A discussion then progressed that went for over an hour and Brian was more than happy to answer most of my questions and concerns and possibly even learned something himself. Here’s a bit of a breakdown of what happened in three categories:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">Ex-Gay?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Brian stated clearly that Hillsong church (and himself) no longer support ex-gay ministries</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Brian acknowledged the involvement of Hillsong church in ex-gay ministries in the past such as Exit Ministries, Living Waters and Exodus. Brian mentioned that he was never truly convinced of the idea of ex-gay ministries, although his father Frank Houston supported them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Brian does not want an ex-gay message preached from the pulpit of Hillsong.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• When questioned about Sy Rogers, Brian responded by saying <span style="font-style: italic;">“I think Sy regrets his previous involvement in Exodus”</span>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">Brian's Commitments</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• More training and education on sexual orientation and sexuality (particularly amongst youth leaders)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Commitment to read and explore theology and resources on homosexuality.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Discussions with other pastors (such as Rob Buckingham of Bayside Church, Melbourne)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Position statement on homosexuality which can be easily accessed on the Hillsong website</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">Brian's Concerns</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Vulnerable people</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Predatory behaviour</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Balancing theology with compassion</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">• Suicide amongst LGBT young people (particularly within the church)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Brian’s main concerns about welcoming LGBT people in to the church mainly focused around vulnerable people and protecting their safety. This included a fear of predatory behaviour and ‘hook-ups’ happening within the church. I explained to him <span style="font-style: italic;">“That is understandable; however that kind of behaviour can happen with straight people as well as gay people in the church”</span>. I explained the safe space we have at <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/">Freedom2b</a> and the cruise-free zone policy. He seemed interested in how we create a safe space and what Hillsong could do to maintain that the church is a safe place, free of agendas.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">So, the three most important questions for LGBT people...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-style: italic;">Q – Question A – Answer LA – Long Answer</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">1. Are gays welcome in Hillsong?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">A: </span><span style="font-size: small;">The short answer is yes!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">LA: </span><span style="font-size: small;">However in reality, many of us have not had such welcoming experiences. Almost every week I get another email, facebook message or someone else from church speaks to me, telling me they are being bullied at church or that they are depressed and just can’t break free from self hatred. Sadly, the most common story I hear is of a closeted gay or lesbian person at Hillsong who tells me that they are too scared to come out because they feel like if they did, people in church wouldn’t treat them the same. Saying this, I can think of a certain young man that I know in Senior leadership at Hillsong. He’s closeted and although he knows he is gay, if he came out he would be thrown out of leadership, loose friends and loose his reputation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Unfortunately, Brian doesn’t see what I see. What’s being said in higher leadership is not travelling down to the youth pastors, connect leaders and mentors. It’s not enough to have a personal belief that ‘gay people are welcome’, this belief and the reasons why must be shared with the leadership teams and then the whole congregation. The church must be educated but this is not happening. This is the problem! Even Brian admitted <span style="font-style: italic;">"I agree that we need to educate the leaders and others in our church! We need to start talking about it"</span>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">2. Does Hillsong support ex-gay ministries?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">A: </span><span style="font-size: small;">The simple answer is No... well not anymore.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">LA:</span><span style="font-size: small;"> For a long time Hillsong did run an ‘ex-gay’ program called Exit Ministries which was started by Brian’s father Frank. This lasted for many years until they decided to close Exit Ministries and start referring people to Exodus and Living Waters. Hillsong was referring people to Living Waters up until the mid 2000s. Following this, same-sex attracted people have been referred to other ex-gay ministries around Sydney, online ex-gay ministries such as Setting Captives Free and reparative therapy (done under the guise of Christian counselling). Ex-gay preaching has taken full form at Hillsong with Sy Rogers visiting almost every year (most recently in 2010) and still selling his resources from the 1990s when he was heavily involved with Exodus International. Although I know of some that are still being referred to ‘ex-gay’ ministries, there are a few people that are being referred to psychologists and groups such as Freedom2b. The best news was that <span style="font-weight: bold;">in 2011, Brian issued a statement saying that Hillsong church does not support ex-gay ministries and will not be referring anybody to them</span>. Slowly people are getting real answers to difficult questions.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;"><br />3. Does Hillsong have a heart to welcome gay people, just as they are?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">A: </span><span style="font-size: small;">Yes they do.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">LA:</span><span style="font-size: small;"> The leaders and members of Hillsong church generally have a heart for people and a desire to love others. Unfortunately those 6 ‘clobber passages’ in the Bible take their effect, mixed with years of discrimination in Australia and a literalistic religious upbringing of many teaching them that gay and lesbian people are sinful and unnatural.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">As a gay Christian I have had to study the bible and have realised that the bible does not condemn homosexual sexual-orientation, nor does it condemn loving monogamous same-sex relationships. The so called ‘clobber passages’ often used to condemn LGBT people can be understood through context, culture and language. For more info read Stuart Edser’s book <a href="http://beinggaybeingchristian.com/">‘Being Gay Being Christian’</a> or the wonderful document <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/files/Res_Bible_Mel_White.pdf">‘What the Bible really says about homosexuality’</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">So, in essence Brian Houston and the majority of people at Hillsong are well-meaning Christians with a heart to help people, including LGBT people...they are just going about it the wrong way!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">Why should Hillsong welcome gays?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Simply put, because the at least 1200 gay and lesbian church members need more than just occaisional preaching from Sy Rogers or J John. They need more than just a sexual purity LIFE course and they need more than a message of change or celibacy. LGBT people deserve a place in the church. They deserve messages relating to them, they deserve a sustainable option for the future and the support of a group like Freedom2b. LGBT Christians have been blessed with wonderful gifts which can be used to grow the church and serve the kingdom. Most importantly, LGBT people deserve a church pastor who is honest and open with them. They deserve a pastor and church that loves them and understands them and sees them not as a problem but as a valued member of the church family.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">So… after all that do I have answers from Brian on issues such as gay relationships, marriage or whether gays should serve in church? No. But the simple, honest answers he gave must be commended. He placed himself in a vulnerable position to meet with me. He didn’t really have to, nor did he have to say anything.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">If I can take away one thing from my breakfast with Brian, it would be the realisation that Brian (and many other leaders at Hillsong) really does aim to love God and love people. They acknowledge that they have not always gotten it right, and they do not pretend to be perfect, but like all of us they are on a journey and are trying to do the best they can.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Some of the answers to the questions I asked are a step forward but in reality, there is still much more work to be done to make Hillsong church a welcoming place for LGBT people.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;"><br />Concluding Statement:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">As a gay man and a member of Hillsong Church, I was happy to hear all that Brian had to say, however I was left wanting more… perhaps an apology for everything I went through and for many people in the church treating me so badly when I came out. I also wish Brian’s commitments had been more concrete. It’s been more than a year since our breakfast meeting and very little has changed. I am encouraged when I hear about recent stories of gay and lesbian people coming out and being welcomed at church just as they are. Yet I know of other stories where a gay man at Hillsong was not allowed to serve at Hillsong Conference because he was in a relationship with another man.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I don’t think we will see an article in the News saying <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Hillsong Welcomes Gays’</span> anytime soon. But I do know that we are moving forward in trying to make the church a safer place. And that many of us are making a positive difference for future generations. As <a href="http://lgbttraining.blogspot.com.au/">Anthony Venn-Brown</a> often says <span style="font-style: italic;">“the enemy is not political parties, church denominations or individual people. The enemy is ignorance”</span>. I hope that my meeting with Brian chipped away at that ignorance that exists within the Christian church about LGBT people. Ultimately, if the church is going to become a safer and more welcoming place then it will take both gay Christians and the church to work together.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">Brian –</span><span style="font-size: small;"> If you are reading this I want to say thank you again for meeting with me. We may not agree with everything but I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to meet with me and hear my story. I am very grateful. I’m happy to work together to create a safer, more welcoming space for gay and lesbian people and would love to chat again soon.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-style: italic;"><br />Ben Gresham, 2012</span>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-91415114021025779892011-11-04T08:38:00.005+11:002013-08-21T14:50:03.015+10:00Trailer released for 'The Cure Documentary'<span style="font-size: small;">Hi everyone,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I'm very excited because the trailer for the long-awaited documentary '<a href="http://www.thecuredocumentary.com.au/" target="_blank">The Cure</a>' was released today. The film features Anthony Venn-Brown (former AOG pastor, f2b co-founder), Paul Martin (Psychologist and former leader of Exodus in Victoria), Ron Brookman (self titled 'ex-gay' and leader of Living Waters), Hannah Pia Baral (Former living waters leader, current f2b Sydney leader), Peter Murphy (ex-gay survivor) and myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">This is the first time that the Australian 'ex-gay' story has been told.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Look out for it at upcoming film festivals around Australia and later internationally.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Hope you all enjoy the trailer as much as I do.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Ben</span>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-86109918315116333282011-09-09T22:23:00.005+10:002013-08-21T14:51:24.295+10:00New interview on ABC Radio National<span style="font-size: small;">Hi everyone,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I apologise for not posting in a while but I have been really busy with freedom2b and with writing my thesis. I aim to post a whole heap of new things starting November 2011. In the mean time please take a listen to a recent interview I did on ABC Radio National for their Breakfast program.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Also...if you haven't checked out freedom2b yet then why not?? <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/">www.freedom2b.org</a></span>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-33020704698184175412011-06-13T22:39:00.002+10:002013-08-21T14:51:56.230+10:00Hillsong, Homosexuality & The Church<span style="font-size: small;">Hey everyone!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Please see below one of the more recent videos I was interviewed in. Some amazing news at the end...definitely worth watching for.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Lots of love,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Ben</span>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-90615233530036576552010-11-05T12:48:00.004+11:002010-11-05T12:58:40.646+11:00The Freedom To Be Me<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1b3X4IsOsmuNCcC7r9DVKhoKXkdPyCiSGxgU_ztKKY2VuTcjxcRbSI7VqdozexF-AfXKWurSk7YbyL3v4WAsZYp4ILzEN-54M_j3lI_R9C-QiuL0pqRn-oNo8oYc1jHAGrGYN461_9C4/s1600/SXNEWSi512p010.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 290px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1b3X4IsOsmuNCcC7r9DVKhoKXkdPyCiSGxgU_ztKKY2VuTcjxcRbSI7VqdozexF-AfXKWurSk7YbyL3v4WAsZYp4ILzEN-54M_j3lI_R9C-QiuL0pqRn-oNo8oYc1jHAGrGYN461_9C4/s400/SXNEWSi512p010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535876847039979346" border="0" /></a>I recently wrote an article which has featured on Page 10 of <span style="font-style: italic;">'SX News'</span> which is Sydney's top gay magazine. After only two days, it was the <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >#1 most viewed article</span> on the SX website.<br /><br />The article has generated discussion and I could have never imagined the impact that one piece of writing could have.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >To view the article </span>online, go to:<br /><a href="http://sxnews.gaynewsnetwork.com.au/feature/christian-gay-and-happy-yes-it-is-possible-008003.html">http://sxnews.gaynewsnetwork.com.au/feature/christian-gay-and-happy-yes-it-is-possible-008003.html</a><br /><br />Much love,<br />BenBen Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-39352930063679373882010-10-11T21:32:00.008+11:002010-10-11T22:07:43.440+11:00Working together - The Church & LGBT Community<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiFkIdZmEIgbefmoOBkML3AOmL0HNukS07Um9DDUjz9MPy186X8H8ses8ream0W7lCmq817UmQ-1t9S_-YHZUtsu8wu1ElygMI83TnfmWuPWSU_jHoBb_1Inw5omcTx79i1teE5FGFgmc/s1600/gay+st.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 163px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiFkIdZmEIgbefmoOBkML3AOmL0HNukS07Um9DDUjz9MPy186X8H8ses8ream0W7lCmq817UmQ-1t9S_-YHZUtsu8wu1ElygMI83TnfmWuPWSU_jHoBb_1Inw5omcTx79i1teE5FGFgmc/s200/gay+st.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5526741197633326674" border="0" /></a>Almost every day I talk to a gay person that just doesn't understand why I would bother keeping my faith and why I would bother investing my time in building bridges between the church and the gay community. I think this comes down to a huge level of ignorance and the fact that the majority of <acronym title="Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender">LGBT</acronym> people and the majority of Christians don't really understand what's really happening on the 'other side'.<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><span>Whether you call Christianity a religion or a faith, you need to know that God doesn't discriminate against the </span><acronym title="Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender">LGBT</acronym><span> community - PEOPLE DO!!</span><br /><br /><span>Every individual has to make their own choices and people from religious backgrounds and non-religious backgrounds discriminate against </span><acronym title="Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender">LGBT</acronym><span> people all the time. The Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gill<span class="text_exposed_show">ard is a strong atheist and she has repeatedly stated that she does not support same-sex marriage from a <span style="font-weight: bold;">personal</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">political</span> perspective. She is one example of many!</span></span><br /><br /><span><span class="text_exposed_show">Also most of the direct discrimination I have encountered has been from non-religious people. Churches aren't anti-gay because they hate gay people and the </span></span><acronym title="Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender">LGBT</acronym><span><span class="text_exposed_show"> community is not anti-religion because they hate God! Both sides are ignorant and </span></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="text_exposed_show">IGNORANCE IS THE REAL PROBLEM!</span></span></span><span><span class="text_exposed_show"> Both sides have never had dialogue and learnt from each other. It's always been this mini war about one-side against another in which <span style="font-weight: bold;">no-one wins but everyone loses.</span></span></span><br /><br /><span><span class="text_exposed_show">My great friend and mentor Anthony Venn-Brown often says <span style="font-style: italic;">"the enemy we fight is not individuals, political parties or denominations - the enemy is ignorance"</span>.</span></span><br /><br /><span><span class="text_exposed_show">Whether you are a straight Christian woman or an gay male atheist, we need to encourage dialogue and build a bridge between the </span></span><acronym title="Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender">LGBT</acronym><span><span class="text_exposed_show"> community and churches. We should not be militant, we should not be bitter! We must simply try to get people to talk...and that is the first step. <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >We need to stand in the gap!</span></span></span><br /><br /><span><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-size:100%;">Conferences such as <a href="http://www.different-conversations.org/home.html">'A Different Conversation'</a>, books such as Andrew Marin's <a href="http://www.loveisanorientation.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">'Love is An Orientation'</span></a> and organisations such as <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/">freedom 2 b[e]</a>, <a href="http://www.soulforce.org/">Soulforce</a> and <a href="http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/2010/02/17/100-revs-risk-jobs-to-march-in-parade/21694">100 Revs</a> are making a real effort in bridging this gap! </span></span></span><br /><br /><span><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-size:100%;">Churches and Religious organisations will never go away and neither will the </span></span></span><acronym title="Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender">LGBT</acronym><span><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-size:100%;"> community. So we either keep fighting or we start talking peacefully about things and work together to really help people? Think about it? One creates peace, another creates war! </span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-weight: bold;">What would Jesus do?</span></span></span><br /><br /></div><span><span class="text_exposed_show"></span></span></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-55901083112575191682010-09-27T20:53:00.007+10:002010-09-27T21:14:06.948+10:00Celebrating Freedom 2 b[e] Youth<div style="text-align: left;">As some of you may know, I am the Sydney Youth Co-ordinator from <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Freedom 2 b[e]</span></a> which is a place to assist <acronym title="Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender">LGBT</acronym> people from Christian backgrounds on their journey to reconcile their faith and sexuality.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;">This month, I am celebrating some of the achievements and the successes of <span style="font-style: italic;">Freedom 2 b[e] Youth</span> and although it has not always been easy, I have been so happy to have been part of this great organisation.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 570px; height: 73px;" src="http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/6517/f2byouththankyoufrontba.jpg" alt="" /><br /></div></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><strong>2008</strong></span><br /><em>Freedom 2 b[e] Youth</em> was originally launched in <em>July 2008</em> by Rebecca Apted & <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/topic/972">Lloyd Jones</a>. The first event was drinks at the Burdekin, followed by socialising and some frisbee in Sydney's Hyde Park. About 10 in total turned up for this inaugural event and it was off to a good start. Two more events followed including a Bowling night and a Picnic night.<br /><br />In late 2008, Freedom 2 b[e] Youth stopped because the (then current) leaders were dealing with some personal things and finding it challenging to balance the pressures of f2b youth and their personal lives.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>2009</strong></span><br />No events occurred in the first half of 2009, but the amount of young people coming to freedom 2 b[e] continued to grow rapidly and the need for a space for them was much needed. In late September 2009, <em>Freedom 2 b[e]</em> Youth was relaunched and revamped and Alex & I relaunched the organisation again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><strong>2010</strong></span><br />It has now been just over one year since <em>Freedom 2 b[e] Youth</em> was relaunched and we have seen amazing growth in numbers, as an organisation and as a community. Attendance at meetings can be anywhere from 20-40 people and it keeps on growing.<br /><br /><strong>Young people lives have literally been saved</strong> and the stories from so many continue to inspire and encourage us to move forward and help more people. This year, the stories of <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/topic/811">Shan</a> and Mick have been key examples to the much needed work of <em>Freedom 2 b[e] Youth</em>. These two young men have found hope, connection and support in the face of severe hardship and adversity. Many other young men and women have similar stories. There are too many to name, but <strong>recent</strong> stories including the journey's of <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/topic/938">Scott</a>, Alex, <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/topic/1111">John</a>, Shaylee, Sam, Lyle, Daniel & Craig are wonderful examples of the hope and support people have found in <em>Freedom 2 b[e] Youth</em>.<br /><br />As the Sydney Youth Coordinator, <span style="font-weight: bold;">I am amazed at the great things that God is doing through the organisation</span> and I am excited about the future and what we can accomplish together.<br /><br />During the next two months of September & October 2010, we will celebrate Freedom 2 b[e] Youth and the amazing work that has been done so far. This <strong>a great milestone </strong>for 1 year of continuous, strong leadership, great meetings and events, some powerful stories of lives changed, community building, networking and growing as an organisation.<br /><br /><strong style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Special thanks</span> to Freedom 2 b[e], the board members, Crave MCC, my co-coordinator Alex, the f2b webmaster Chris, all the helpers and those that have supported us in prayer and in financial support. <span style="font-weight: bold;">We couldn't have done this without you!!</span></strong><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:130%;" >"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure"</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:130%;" > </span> Hebrews 6:10-11<br /></div><br /><em>Ben Gresham</em>, 2010<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://img830.imageshack.us/img830/8389/f2byouththankyoufront20.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="327" /></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-3249319051811233822010-07-06T22:25:00.011+10:002010-08-03T00:18:52.646+10:003 insights from the life of a young gay Christian...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs013.ash2/34024_408044437945_702437945_4651490_8061226_n.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 395px; height: 262px;" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs013.ash2/34024_408044437945_702437945_4651490_8061226_n.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Hi everyone,<br /><br />Sorry for being so slack lately in my blogs and updates.<br /><br />I cannot believe it has now been <span style="font-weight: bold;">over 2 years since I 'came out'</span> at church and to all of my family. Since then so many incredible things have happened...life hasn't always been easy but God has given me strength to see each and every day through.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" >Some insights that I have gained from the last few months:</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. The strength in telling your story.</span></span><br />The bible says in Luke 8:39 "Go home and tell aloud the story of all He has done for you". Stories were a vital form of communication for Jesus. People connected with His stories and with the hope and truth that they provided.<br /><br />I have found incredible strength in telling my story over the years. Every time I tell my story I feel more and more liberated and a new sense of freedom emerges. I am amazed at God's grace in taking me to this position I am in now. I have a platform to reach people with the hope found in Christ and the reality that <span style="font-weight: bold;">sexual orientation and Christianity can be reconciled</span>.<br /><br />In late July this year I was offered an opportunity to take up a casual position with an organisation called Family Planning NSW. With this organisation I will speak to <span style="font-weight: bold;">hundreds</span> of high school students about homophobia. I will share my story, engage and communicate with the students and hopefully play a part in making high schools safer for gay and lesbian young people.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >2. Boyfriends aren't flawless but God is!</span><br />In the last year I had a tough break-up with my partner of over 1 year, Rob. This was such a challenge for me to see this relationship end. Rob was my first boyfriend and the guy that I thought I would spend my life with. After many relationship difficulties, including his move down to Melbourne for work, we decided to end the relationship.<br /><br />When the relationship ended, my depression only became worse and my relationship with God started to shake and I started to doubt myself again. I seemed to turn to psychologists, friends, family, alcohol but no matter what I did, nothing seemed to take away the sadness. It was in this moment that I realised that amongst all this craziness, I had forgotten to turn to the only one who is able to heal, restore and give me strength - Jesus.<br /><br />When I turned away from myself and focused on God, I realised that I should not worry about the future. If God is who He says he is then I know that He holds my future in his hands. And as it says in Jeremiah 29:11<span style="font-style: italic;"> "I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, Plans to give you a hope and a future"</span>.<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >3. Never underestimate the combined power of a bunch of young people passionate about seeing God move in their community and bring hope to the hopeless.</span><br />In September 2009, I took over the position as Youth Coordinator for <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.freedom2b.org"><span style="font-style: italic;">Freedom 2 b[e]</span></a>. It was a tough challenge but it was an opportunity to provide hope, guidance and to put smiles back on the faces of LGBT youth, many who had been through incredibly tough times.<br /><br />Since September 2009, we have seen <span style="font-style: italic;">Freedom 2 b[e]</span> Youth grow to up to around <span style="font-weight: bold;">40 people</span> attending each event here in Sydney, with many more joining our online forums, and making a positive difference in churches and the gay community.<br /><br />I am constantly amazed at the goodness of our God and the passion he puts into the hearts of the Youth in <span style="font-style: italic;">Freedom 2 b[e]</span>. I hope and pray that God continues to bless this important ministry so that all the pain and hard times that many gay Christians have gone through may be no longer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Each and every suicide committed by a young gay person is one too many!!</span> We can all play a part in showing people everywhere that they matter and that God loves them so much. Sometimes that's all it takes to turn a person's life around. God's word is not only for certain types of people....it is for <span style="font-weight: bold;">EVERYONE!!</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs319.snc3/28611_418032782391_568732391_5254973_6217998_n.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 230px;" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs319.snc3/28611_418032782391_568732391_5254973_6217998_n.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I have loved writing to you all and I am constantly humbled by the comments you leave me. <span style="font-weight: bold;">You</span> have given me strength , just like I hope I have done the same for many of you.<br /><br />Much love,<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Ben</span>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-45245933881229082782010-03-07T20:55:00.008+11:002010-03-07T21:10:13.932+11:00Survivors of ex-gay programs march in the 2010 Sydney Mardi Gras<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTWVmkxpveZrRHzoxkGO6ALOZI3aAmSoFMIxpwkatXIApQQ1hW9VuPV2a01qMIgiIQK_Kxc_YTZ9poY1yXAlTcQbU2HviXF7sVZ1K7QOBfGaj3KlVYemIKvzS2a_suPd-uxnAlfw020dA/s1600-h/Hannah+and+I.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTWVmkxpveZrRHzoxkGO6ALOZI3aAmSoFMIxpwkatXIApQQ1hW9VuPV2a01qMIgiIQK_Kxc_YTZ9poY1yXAlTcQbU2HviXF7sVZ1K7QOBfGaj3KlVYemIKvzS2a_suPd-uxnAlfw020dA/s320/Hannah+and+I.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445832127537603330" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Hi all,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">It has been way too long since I updated this but I just wanted to say how amazing my life is now. It almost seems like the divide between faith and sexuality is no longer there in my world. It's not an issue for me personally any more. But there are still so many others out there in churches across Australia and across the World looking for hope, love and acceptance and struggling with the question...<span style="font-weight: bold;">"Will God love me even if I'm gay?"</span>. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The answer to that question is found in you and I. We can play an important role in connecting gay and lesbian people to Jesus' all inclusive, amazing, empowering love. His cross is as relevant for gay people as it is for anyone else. This is <span style="font-weight: bold;">WHY</span> we march in the mardi gras year after year....to connect people with the love and hope found in Jesus and to stand up as valuable, strong gay and lesbian Christians.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Show your support....watch the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oddb0kzEuA"><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:130%;" >VIDEO HERE</span></a><br /><br />Make a difference and share your journey on the Freedom 2 b[e] website </span><a style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.freedom2b.org/">HERE</a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Much love,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >Ben G</span>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-2566275007685977622009-11-21T15:47:00.009+11:002010-09-15T21:33:51.304+10:00Why is a place for gay Christian youth needed in our society?<div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSrjxs0XFXt8AFxsdYtlGLa7LIeOgGQYt6AFZTgDrWLyqeWRfjM7lBefy5zW3bP-Vm_fu2qRXTPDFxkaa2RiSENAk_19SezHgiAypSW6yJPPCoX45OMiVd5cDDlq-UmpBM5gZJD4bpve8/s1600/1407.jpg"><em></em></a><em>“Sometimes I feel so guilty about my feelings’’. </em><br /></div><em></em><br /><em>“Am I going to hell? That’s the gnawing question that is always drilling little holes </em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSrjxs0XFXt8AFxsdYtlGLa7LIeOgGQYt6AFZTgDrWLyqeWRfjM7lBefy5zW3bP-Vm_fu2qRXTPDFxkaa2RiSENAk_19SezHgiAypSW6yJPPCoX45OMiVd5cDDlq-UmpBM5gZJD4bpve8/s1600/1407.jpg"><em></em></a><em>in the back of my mind. Please don’t send me to hell....Lord I want to be good...I need your seal of approval” </em>– Bobby Griffith<br /><br />The statistics of GLBT Youth suicide is significant, especially from Christian backgrounds. <em>“The suicide rate for gay and lesbian youth is up to eight times higher than for their heterosexual peers, often due to homophobic bullying, abuse and anxiety about coming out” (Stark J, 2009).<br /></em><br />Many young GLBT people from church backgrounds have previously made attempts at self harm with some even committing suicide. <em>“Recent Australian research found up to 31 per cent of gay people suffered from anxiety disorders and depression compared with between 4 per cent and 14 per cent of heterosexuals. Seventeen per cent of young gay women had tried to harm or kill themselves in the previous six months compared with 2 per cent of straight women” (Stark J, 2009).<br /><br /></em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSrjxs0XFXt8AFxsdYtlGLa7LIeOgGQYt6AFZTgDrWLyqeWRfjM7lBefy5zW3bP-Vm_fu2qRXTPDFxkaa2RiSENAk_19SezHgiAypSW6yJPPCoX45OMiVd5cDDlq-UmpBM5gZJD4bpve8/s1600/1407.jpg"><em><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 383px; float: right; height: 194px;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5406417005111039170" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSrjxs0XFXt8AFxsdYtlGLa7LIeOgGQYt6AFZTgDrWLyqeWRfjM7lBefy5zW3bP-Vm_fu2qRXTPDFxkaa2RiSENAk_19SezHgiAypSW6yJPPCoX45OMiVd5cDDlq-UmpBM5gZJD4bpve8/s320/1407.jpg" border="0" /></em></a><br />In September this year we kick started Freedom 2 b[e] Youth in Sydney to help make a step forward in targeting youth suicide, depression and self harm.<br /><br /><div>A safe, welcoming space is provided for GLBT youth from Christian church backgrounds. By Youth, we refer to those under the age of 30. A ‘open’ space is facilitated where there is no agenda, a place free from ‘cruising’ and a space where people can be themselves as they journey on the path of reconciling faith and sexuality, or discovering new beliefs or truths for their lives.<br /><br />It is important to establish strong networks and connections and give youth the support they need from services we know and trust. Freedom 2 b[e] is not a church, nor is it a counselling / crisis service. It is not our responsibility to provide those services but it is our responsibility to be able to connect youth with those organisations that can. We are currently working on strong networks with ACON, Twenty10, SGLBA, MCC Churches and other Christian churches right around Australia.<br /><br />However with much support already received...much more is needed. I believe that God is raising up a generation of individuals passionate about life and seeing people equipped with the hope, motivation, resources and love to move forward in every sphere of life.<br /><br />Keep watching for more exciting information about this new community group. Our latest event was a BBQ and beach day where we provided lunch and drinks for almost 30 gay and lesbian youth and their friends. It was an incredible success and provided a safe space for youth on their journey of reconciliation.<br /><br />Much love,<br />Ben Gresham </div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-69323810929139883052009-05-15T01:47:00.009+10:002009-06-01T01:02:00.535+10:00The Hope Alliance - LAUNCHING SOON<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4cplQaN75mPzDzCDF80iL8ao_F78JIiBI1xLEHJ9BDy_3otPKExu5CV9HYAHxoGyDcTpJst4fgkoumxr2aROdxbw-HL6kByPv0qkk2tgpWAkwWrNQ0ecP0e7Pt7_HI5v7pWxv1VqUJek/s1600-h/THA+BANNER.jpg"><blockquote></blockquote><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 91px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4cplQaN75mPzDzCDF80iL8ao_F78JIiBI1xLEHJ9BDy_3otPKExu5CV9HYAHxoGyDcTpJst4fgkoumxr2aROdxbw-HL6kByPv0qkk2tgpWAkwWrNQ0ecP0e7Pt7_HI5v7pWxv1VqUJek/s400/THA+BANNER.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335707509429793394" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Hope Alliance will be launching officially in late June this year. We aim to set up a website, an action group and an education team to bring hope to the many indiciduals and their families affected by ex-gay ministries.<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Our goals fall under</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">- Education</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">- Action</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">- Awareness</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We will work with GLBTIQ organisations and individuals as well as churches and former ex-gay leaders to generate a message of hope for the men and women who are facing spiritual abuse, persecution and descrimination because of their sexual orientation.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Hope Alliance is a movement, NOT an organisation. We are not tied to any GLBT groups or any church denominations. We are just an alliance of individuals willing to fight injustice in our city, in our churches, in our community. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The HOPE Alliance is establishing itself as an movement that combats the expansion of the ex-gay programs, educating both Christian and secular Australians about the damage they cause.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We believe it is important to give people struggling with their faith and sexuality opportunity to access information and support from various Christian and secular organisations.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We state emphatically that people who are same-sex attracted, queer, homosexual, bisexual and transgendered do not need to try and change their sexual orientation or their sexuality. We also believe that attempts by homosexuals to become opposite-sex attracted are not successful and instead cause a lot of psychological damage and pain.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></span><blockquote style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">“You’ve got to give them HOPE”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> – Harvey Milk</span></span></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">For more information email THA at: thehopealliance@gmail.com</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">WEBSITE & YOUTUBE CHANNEL COMING MID 2009</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"The movement begins with us....individuals standing up for justice, giving hope to others" - Ben Gresham (2009)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;">LAUNCHING MID 2009</span></span></span></span></span></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-62076339861376975352009-04-27T19:38:00.007+10:002009-04-27T20:04:41.605+10:00A Gay Christian in the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge9rOoG6EM2QbrD2eyiQpIVWzOW2VvH9II3v0nEcKWMrHY5un7vuhuqRulvXrMsGNMPjcP470s53UzzlL5bSqAk54ep60HQgPbxtySIHNtqpQkJUBBz2pRlC4aUP_ZJmizxfkqSHrYgXs/s1600-h/Blog+Pic+April+2009.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge9rOoG6EM2QbrD2eyiQpIVWzOW2VvH9II3v0nEcKWMrHY5un7vuhuqRulvXrMsGNMPjcP470s53UzzlL5bSqAk54ep60HQgPbxtySIHNtqpQkJUBBz2pRlC4aUP_ZJmizxfkqSHrYgXs/s320/Blog+Pic+April+2009.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329303696269540210" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;">On the 7th March 2009, I marched in my first Mardi Gras with the group <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; ">Freedom 2 b[e]</span>. For me this was an event surrounded in excitement, fear, anticipation, doubt, love and uncertainty.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Growing up in a predominantly Christian household, Mardi Gras was always seen as an evil, wicked event for the homosexuals. Was told often <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"it's disgusting"</span> or more commonly <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"pray for rain so that the devil may not do his work"</span>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And here I was about to march in something that was meant to be <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">'evil'</span>. I sat there in the marshalling area and it all became too much. Those fears and uncertainties were surrounding me as I questioned whether or not I was doing the right thing. I was in a Tee, shorts and a cap, like many of the other <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Freedom 2 b[e]</span> group, while many other groups were wearing little more than speedos or undies. I wondered if this is really where a Christian should be....</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I gathered a group of about 5 or 6 people together and we just started praying. As we prayed I knew that God's love, strength and hope was with us and at that moment we knew we had to march. We could not pull out. We had to be the light and pour out love to all who were there, showing the gay community that God really does love them. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Marching was an amazing experience. For me, it helped me gain a greater sense of self acceptance and hope as a gay man. It also helped me to understand that even in the midst of uncertainty and fear, God is with us. Jesus holds you and me close and he will never let us go. He is there with open arms to comfort us when we are weak.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">As I walked down Oxford Street, I looked around and caught glimpses of people that I knew. Uni friends, school mates and mates from the gay community were there. All cheering me on. Even my parents were watching on TV, cheering for me. I had never felt so liberated in my entire life!!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I also caught the eyes of some people in the crowd that connected with our message. By marching we were being voices for them, giving them hope, showing them that God has never stopped loving them for being gay. Jesus was always there, even though the church may have rejected them. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">PLEASE TAKE TIME TO WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW...</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XvYFK556UPM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XvYFK556UPM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><br /></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-30468964544600704052009-04-01T00:57:00.004+11:002009-04-01T01:07:36.739+11:00Church aims to "change" gays featuring Ben Gresham<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://stgeorge.yourguide.com.au/multimedia/images/large/465895.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 284px; height: 190px;" src="http://stgeorge.yourguide.com.au/multimedia/images/large/465895.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Above: Ron & Ruth Brookman<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Source: Fairfax Media, 2009</span></span>.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; font-weight: normal; "><div class="headline" style="margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: -1px; "><h1 style="font-weight: bold; text-align: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: -1px; margin-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 1px; font-size: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Church aims to "change" gays</span></span></h1></div><div class="byline" style="text-align: left; font-size: 11px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">BY ALICIA WOOD</span></span></div><div class="date" style="text-align: left; font-size: 9px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">27/03/2009 5:02:00 PM</span></span></div><div class="summary" style="position: relative; "><div class="summarytext" style="padding-top: 30px; "><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">A RAMSGATE church has attracted national attention for its programs to guide people out of sexual "brokenness''.<br /></span></span></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Of most controversy is a program to help homosexuals overcome same-sex attraction.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">But director of Living Waters ministries, Ron Brookman, said the controversy was misdirected.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Mr Brookman married his second wife, Ruth, in 1994, and the pair have three children. But he said he can recall being attracted to men from age five.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">"I believe homosexuality is a tendency, not a tyranny,'' Mr Brookman said.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">After successfully completing the program, Mr Brookman said he had not acted on homosexual impulses.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">"I'm so thankful to God, and I want to proclaim his goodness, and give other people hope that change is possible,'' he said.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">"The years I was gay were the worst of my life ... This is the happiest time of my life.''</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">A Sutherland Shire man, 40, who did not wish to be named, completed the Living Waters program and is now married with two children.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">He said he was never content with his life as a homosexual man.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">"The gay scene is known for its promiscuity and for its lack of commitment. There were days where I had more casual encounters than people have hot meals in a day,'' he said.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">"But I dealt with depression, I felt suicidal, because the lifestyle I had conflicted with what I believed in my heart.''</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Ben Gresham, 20, went to programs similar to Living Waters. But for him, they did more harm than good.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">"I had really bad depression when I realised nothing was changing, and I started to self harm. Then I started to attempt suicide. I thought because I couldn't change, I needed to be punished.''</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">He was jolted out of his fixation with change when a fellow program member committed suicide.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Lloyd Jones, 24, was encouraged to embrace his homosexuality when his mother came out as a lesbian after experiencing many conversion programs, including Living Waters.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Despite their experiences, both Lloyd and Ben said they believed that people who ran conversion programs were only trying to do good.</span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">STRAIGHT TALK</span></span></b></p><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Living Waters began as part of Exodus International, an inter-denominational Christian organisation founded in 1976.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">It came to Australia in 1972 to help homosexuals change their sexual orientation.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Using Christian counselling and prayer, it is a six-month program that encourages people to confess homosexual acts or impulses and pray for healing.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">For some time it was offered as a referral service from Hillsong Church, but this is no longer the case</span></span>.</p></div></div></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">WANT TO SEE FULL ARTICLE & MAKE A COMMENT?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 48px; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; "></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 48px; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">GO TO: </span></span><a href="http://stgeorge.yourguide.com.au/news/local/news/general/church-aims-to-change-gays/1463075.aspx?order=1#comments"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">The Leader: </span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://stgeorge.yourguide.com.au/news/local/news/general/church-aims-to-change-gays/1463075.aspx?order=1#comments"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">'Church aims to "change" gays'</span></span></a></span></span></span></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-63651150817450601312009-04-01T00:46:00.003+11:002009-04-01T00:52:17.861+11:00Ben Gresham on YouTube<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tnifEKBs7nk&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tnifEKBs7nk&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre;font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">To see more videos:</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">GO TO: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/gresh1988"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Youtube - Gay Christian?</span></a></span></span></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-43056500991581463032009-03-11T19:38:00.003+11:002009-03-11T19:40:21.362+11:00And We Marched Forward....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN4R93Z8KGUPPZDEEwEi16QbyGXFe6ENVYXArcKKP4ENkzpC9pLVZlc9ksXEgrYobvhHg47REczjFckWCtG8K25YHy0zlbsWt4kg1sf7dHQfTFIeL086QIWdCTWqMJl4hoE9KFneyRxm4/s1600-h/Ben+%26+AVB+v2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN4R93Z8KGUPPZDEEwEi16QbyGXFe6ENVYXArcKKP4ENkzpC9pLVZlc9ksXEgrYobvhHg47REczjFckWCtG8K25YHy0zlbsWt4kg1sf7dHQfTFIeL086QIWdCTWqMJl4hoE9KFneyRxm4/s400/Ben+%26+AVB+v2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311847002396825058" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">MARDI GRAS 2009 POST COMING SOON!!!!</span></span><br /></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-7981273798285415072009-03-05T02:39:00.009+11:002009-03-05T03:59:20.040+11:00The lead up to Mardi Gras 2009...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9euKSTMuvj-OJAnfxd5REjDvxx22FmsmVG1abDKOamoD4SaURWcJ26j4BiYem4erk40Yn3b9QymKfT2d0PChUmnNUrSPDg0PsFwQrjjF3xBtNkYVSg58C-WWHD7CGHq6nsdYig1CA-DQ/s1600-h/Freedom+Mardi+Gras+2009.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9euKSTMuvj-OJAnfxd5REjDvxx22FmsmVG1abDKOamoD4SaURWcJ26j4BiYem4erk40Yn3b9QymKfT2d0PChUmnNUrSPDg0PsFwQrjjF3xBtNkYVSg58C-WWHD7CGHq6nsdYig1CA-DQ/s320/Freedom+Mardi+Gras+2009.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309373640272866514" border="0" /></a><br />Excitement and Fear, Hope and Sadness, Joy and Pain....<br />Some of the emotions running through my head as the countdown to the 2009 Mardi Gras comes even closer..<br /><br />As I think of the many reasons I am marching...<br /><br />I think back on this time only one year ago...<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">March 2008:</span></span><br />After leaving my third year of reparative ex-gay therapy in January, I had just attempted suicide for the second time. My car had been written off in the crash with my back and neck hurt and with many bruises and my wrists were covered with scars from all the self harm. My future was hopeless. I was not 'out' to anyone outside of my church. My friend was dead, I was on high doses of anti depressants and I was not sure if I believed in God anymore...How could a God of love cause me so much pain??<br /><br />My view of myself was that I was a failure to God. I was gay and I couldn't change. I had done something wrong. I deserved to be punished for being gay because being gay was not 'right' in the eyes of the Lord. These are some of the things I believed at the time, only a year ago.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br />'Coming out' to Early 09:</span><br />After coming out in June, with the help of Jesus, Anthony Venn-Brown and <span style="font-style: italic;">Freedom 2 b[e]</span>, I worked through my conflicts between my faith and sexuality. It was a long and difficult process but overall it helped me learn about love, compassion, hope and that I was loved, even as a gay man, especially as a gay man by an amazing God who has plans and purposes for my life. That being gay is not a sin or sickness. It is who I am. And God loves me for that!!<br /><br />I started to share with others my story, the ex-gay programs, suicide attempts and my love for Jesus and people listened and found hope in a reconciled faith and sexuality. I spoke at Freedom 2 b[e], MCC Sydney, to friends at Hillsong, and to students and lecturers at Southern Cross bible college. My story was giving people hope and helping to break down barriers between the church and the gay community. Having power beyond anything I could have imagined.<br /><br />Through Anthony, somehow I ended up on ABC Television and was featured on 'The Hack Half Hour' and soon after on Triple J radio. My story was being told and people were gaining hope and understanding. I remember praying before the filming of the show in a small room at ABC Studios. Praying that by telling my story, people would know that they are loved as they are by a God who does not condemn homosexuals.<br /><br />After the show, the phone calls, emails and friend requests started popping up everywhere. One mother in Western Australia emailed me to tell me how proud of me she was and that it helped her understand her gay son better. A young bible college student in South Australia wrote me asking me for help in dealing with gay and lesbian youth. A 29 year old woman who had gone to Mercy Ministries, was hurt by their ex-gay program and was so scared to go back to church but my story helped her get back to God. A father who was now able to see his gay son in a whole new light and try and communicate with him after years of rejection because of his strong religious beliefs. And an Sydney Anglican pastor who used to preach that gay was a sin and send parishioners to ex-gay programs, sent me a facebook message saying 'sorry' and asking for help in how to teach God's word more faithfully.<br /><br />The story even went internationally, as a young man in Arizona, United States saw my <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3573">'Coming Out' letter</a> on the <a href="http://www.freedom2b.org">Freedom 2 b[e] website</a> and told me that it had helped him 'come out' to his parents and go back to church for one more go with God. Also a teenage boy in the <span style=""><span style="font-size:100%;">P</span><span style="font-size:100%;">hillipenes</span></span> found hope to keep going even when everything was against him.<br /><br />I could never have imagined what God would do through me, through my story. I am so humbled by the experience and motivated to keep going and help others. Jesus' main command is <span style="font-style: italic;">'Love God & Love Others'</span> and I pray that continues to always be my goal.<br /><br />During those months I had started my first real relationship with Rob. With him, I realised that the love that two people can have for each other, even if it is two men...it's too beautiful to say that it's wrong. I remember looking into Rob's eyes and thanking God for something I never thought was possible. To me, the relationship wasn't about physical attraction or lust but it was about two hearts connecting with love for one another. It didn't seem as wrong or 'evil' as they told me it would be in church. It was the opposite. It was beautiful, special, pure. Gay relationships were not wrong. They were a blessing.<br /><br />In early 2009, along with Penny Davis and Joshua Bates, we started <span style="font-style: italic;">'The Hope Alliance'</span>. This social justice movement aims to educate the church, secular and gay communities about the existence and danger of 'ex-gay' programs and take action against the planned expansion of the ex-gay movement in Sydney, Australia. In January <span style="font-style: italic;">'The Hope Alliance'</span> took out a press release and the movement officially started. This appeared in 'SX News' and was brought to the attention of many well-known gay and lesbian people, media sources and churches. This sparked conversation and in February, prompted journalist, Katrina Fox to write an article for the Sydney Morning Herald (which is Sydney's most widely read newspaper). It appeared on page 12 and the news was getting out there and people were finding hope..<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Now - March 2009</span></span><br />Well...so much has happened in the last year.<br />The future is ahead of me and I am ready...What's next?<br /><br />Well the Mardi Gras parade to start with..<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Why am I marching??</span><br />- Because I am finally living in freedom!<br />- Because I love my gay community!<br />- Because I love God!<br />- Because we need to speak for those who cannot!<br />- To stand up for humanity and for equality!<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">I am Ben Gresham</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I am a homosexual<br />I know my God loves me </span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />I AM FREE!!</span><br /></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-26138035666090649052009-02-27T15:48:00.008+11:002009-02-27T17:08:37.712+11:00Hope Alliance media release prompts Katrina Fox to write SMH 'Straight and Narrow' article<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnRS8LXkn_iNH5_C47RfyGrH3QZLhzOPgFQYd9hqNiHmz3ahCvzTiOzKOK0NlAD94AurU7DL22NrG3liEh4Gh6cpiwgVH6tpV8qwbmZuCLvkD8OxTCCGbGI1BBoXOU8fsHU16fVuI9rLY/s1600-h/ha+%26+smh+blog+pic.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 126px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnRS8LXkn_iNH5_C47RfyGrH3QZLhzOPgFQYd9hqNiHmz3ahCvzTiOzKOK0NlAD94AurU7DL22NrG3liEh4Gh6cpiwgVH6tpV8qwbmZuCLvkD8OxTCCGbGI1BBoXOU8fsHU16fVuI9rLY/s320/ha+%26+smh+blog+pic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5307354138196879042" border="0" /></a><br />Many of you may have read the article <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/national/straight-and-narrow-20090226-8j9y.html">'Straight and Narrow'</a> in Friday's <span style="font-style: italic;">Sydney Morning Herald</span> by Katrina Fox. This article was prompted by <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">'The Hope Alliance'</span> media release which was seen in <a href="http://sxnews.e-p.net.au/news/alliance-to-take-on-ex-gay-groups-4930.html"><span style="font-style: italic;">SX News</span> </a>and <a href="http://thejoshy.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Joshua Bates</span></a> only a few weeks ago and shed light on the expanding works of the <span style="font-style: italic;">Living Waters</span> ex-gay ministry.<br /><br />While it was a good article, much was missing that really needed to be said. Katrina interviewed me and incorporated my comments in the article, however during the editing process my part was cut out. My good friend and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Freedom 2 b[e]</span> leader, Anthony Venn-Brown, was able to get a few sentences in which was better than nothing.<br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;" ><span style="font-size:180%;">Questions asked by Katrina Fox & my written responses:</span><br /></span> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b><i><span style="">The Living Waters ministry are adamant that you can't be gay and Christian, that the two are mutually exclusive. What is your response to this</span></i></b><b><i><span style="">?</span></i></b></span><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></p><ul style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I am gay and I am Christian. The two are NOT mutually exclusive. I am living proof of that and there are many others just like me. Just because I happen to be attracted to the same sex does not mean that I cannot live a life for Jesus. I still attend the same Pentecostal church many times a week, as many straight believers do, and I still read the bible and pray. I never chose to be attracted to the same sex and I know in my heart that Jesus loves me and accepts me just as I am. <o:p></o:p></span></span></li></ul> <ul style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I have a good knowledge of the Bible and the message that Jesus preached is one of love, truth, justice, hope and inclusiveness. Christianity is based on the message of Jesus and Jesus never mentioned anything about homosexuality. I believe, if Christ had said something that it would have been a message of affirmation and love for gays and lesbians.<o:p></o:p></span></span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b><i><span style="">I believe you went through some 'ex gay' therapies and treatments. Can you describe briefly what it entailed and some of the emotions you experienced?</span></i></b></span><br /><br /><span style="line-height: 115%;">At 16 years old, I entered my first ex-gay program called 'Door of Hope', similar in many ways to Living Waters. This was a 60 day mostly-online course where you were 'cured' from homosexuality. I was given a mentor at my local church to guide me and help me in my battle against homosexuality, he was an ex-gay himself and was married with 2 kids. Each day it would take about 2-3 hours and I would sit through the constant lessons about how being gay is a sin and that only God can heal you from this terrible affliction. I had to confess everything, whether I had thoughts about men, if I had had sex or masturbated, whether I had looked at pornography. We had to tell the truth and admit those things every day. If we failed in one area we were told that we had to put more effort into this and try harder. After about three months, the quest for change continued and I entered into another ex-gay program. The same one with the same rules and same hardships. Except this time they were harder on me because I had failed the first. I needed to have more faith or so they told me.<br /><br />At 17, I started attending a new Pentecostal church and soon after began one-on-one ex-gay counselling sessions or reparative therapy as it is commonly known. The program was not as strict as the other ones and offered more hope and compassion to me and my situation. However I was taught a few different things like how to act more male and was given relationship advice on how to date. It all seems funny now but they supposedly had a reason behind it. After months and months of therapy, that was it and I was meant to be healed. I was told that God wanted me to have a happy fulfilling life as a straight man and he wanted me to get married and have a family. However even after all that time, I could never gain feelings for the opposite-sex or get rid of my feelings for other men.<br /><br />Going through the ex-gay programs was like riding an emotional roller coaster. Having hope for change at the beginning of each program only to find out that nothing had really changed at all. It was exciting to think about the prospect of becoming straight, that I could be accepted and embraced like all of the other people in my church, that one-day I could have a wife and family, a life that God would be happy with. Realising after each program that nothing had changed at all, that I still had feelings for men, I became very depressed and felt like a failure, like I needed to be punished because I couldn't be who I needed to be. It was in those moments that I would continually self harm myself, punishing myself for being gay. Facing the reality that I couldn't change was terrifying, because it meant that I would be resigned to living a life away from God's love and that I would be going to hell and forced to live out the rest of my days as a 'poor, sick' homosexual.<br /><br />Through all of these programs, I was never truly happy. I hated myself and saw myself as a failure in the eyes of God. Every day was a constant struggle to try and be the young man the church said I needed to be, a straight man. Most nights I would cry myself to sleep, only to wake up in the morning knowing I was still gay.<br /><br />I only became happy and free when I accepted myself and loved myself as the gay man that I am. When I stopped trying to change, and realised that this is me, I no longer 'struggled' and I found myself welcomed and embraced with love by the gay community. Suddenly I was no longer a mistake, but somebody that mattered.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b><i><span style="">There are people in Living Waters who argue that they have been able to 'recover' from homosexuality, in the same way people recover from drug and alcohol addiction, even though they still 'struggle' with the process. What are your thoughts on these people?</span></i></b></span><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></p><ul style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Drug and alcohol addiction are very serious issues and can be treated over time with much hard work. Homosexuality, however is orientation and because you do not choose to be gay, it cannot be treated in the same way that you can treat alcoholism or drug abuse. <o:p></o:p></span></span></li></ul><ul style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">So often, these ex-gay programs mix up homosexuality with sexual addiction, labelling all gay people as sex addicts. I believe that sexual addiction is a serious issue and if the ex-gay programs help people deal with their sexual addiction, then that is a good thing. BUT this must not be mixed up with sexual orientation. People still 'struggle' with the process because underneath it all, their feelings for the same sex will never go away because it an orientation. Something without choice.<br /></span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">When I was in the ex-gay programs I was struggling, every day and the feelings for other men never went away. When I accepted myself after years of torment, pain and sadness, I was no longer struggling. I knew that I was gay and it was ok....there was nothing that needed to be healed. And in that moment, I was living in freedom.<o:p></o:p></span></span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><i style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="">Why, in your opinion, do ex-gay reparative therapies not work?</span></i></span><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span><br /></span></p><ul style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Simple answer, because there is nothing to fix. Homosexuality is natural and beautiful and trying to change your sexual orientation is almost as bizarre as trying to change your race and skin colour. <o:p></o:p></span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Sexual addiction, drugs and alcohol can all be treated, but homosexuality is not like that. It’s not a choice. I have never been attracted to the opposite sex and I never chose to be gay. It’s just who I am. You can’t change that.<o:p></o:p></span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">There is no scientific or psychological evidence supporting change in sexual orientation. Biblically, there is nothing in the bible saying that gay people have to change or even speaking about change. I believe that Gods loves all people including gays just as they are. <o:p></o:p></span></span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b><i><span style="">Any other comments?</span></i></b></span><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span><br /></span></p><ul style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Unfortunately many ex-gay leaders only see the gay stereotype and assume we are all sex-craved perverts that need to be saved. If they could see the gay community as I see it now, then they would understand that homosexuality is not a curse or a sickness, but rather a unique gift from God, a blessing into a greater compassion and understanding of human potential and what it means to love unconditionally. <o:p></o:p></span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">It is sad that it had to take three years of ex-gay programs and reparative therapy including several suicide attempts, years of self loathing, self harm and depression to make me come to the point where I had to question myself as to whether or not being gay is really a sin. If only the church had shown the love to me that I really needed before I had to go through so much pain. If only someone had told us that we were not sick or failures to God. That being gay was ok. Things would have been different...<o:p></o:p></span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The ex-gay programs are a breeding ground for intolerance, homophobia and self hate and are not consistent with the main Christian message of love.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></li></ul> <div style="text-align: center;"><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">COMMENTS WELCOME</span></span><br /></div>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-44577781822319602792009-02-06T11:51:00.012+11:002009-02-27T18:15:10.748+11:00The Australian ex-gay movement: What is happening?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj702VXPDRu0TI30IKW9LvK5NSqMrKf5-cprQpjSDuIZNcjjNU6Y13p5EMl6PUD2EBiqO_daY3KDObITdH_c19T3nzh09zfeAhkGWVAyLmYboSKoe2-cipoB-7JI7tiCWSwXZ6obCCBiAk/s1600-h/ex-gay+leaders.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj702VXPDRu0TI30IKW9LvK5NSqMrKf5-cprQpjSDuIZNcjjNU6Y13p5EMl6PUD2EBiqO_daY3KDObITdH_c19T3nzh09zfeAhkGWVAyLmYboSKoe2-cipoB-7JI7tiCWSwXZ6obCCBiAk/s320/ex-gay+leaders.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299481201805440386" border="0" /></a>By Benjamin Gresham. 2009<br /><br />A major ex-gay program, <span style="font-style: italic;">Living Waters</span>, is seeking to expand across Sydney and even the rest of Australia. Led by Christian minister and ex-gay himself, Ron Brookman. <span style="font-style: italic;">Living Waters</span> is located in Ramsgate in Southern Sydney but also runs groups in St Marys, and North West and South West Sydney through various churches and ministries. <span style="font-style: italic;">Living Waters</span> is holding an ex-gay confernce in Sydney in February and starting up a new branch on the Northern Beaches in April 2009. Along with this, Ron brookman aims to release his autobiography in the near future as well as 2 other books which will promote the ex-gay message.<br /><br />The expansion of the ex-gay programs across Sydney is a major concern as the psychological damage and pain caused by these programs is considerable. Hundreds of young gay men and women who have gone through these programs have committed suicide after not being able to change their sexual orientation. I attempted suicide twice after 3 years of ex-gay programs and I am lucky to be alive today. I have a friend who was not so lucky and after struggling with his sexuality and being told he had to change...he committed suicide back in 2007.<br /><br />Ex-gay programs, like <span style="font-style: italic;">Living Waters</span> are also affecting Australian politics and ex-gay leader Ron Brookman had a major influence in former Australian PM John Howard re-defining marriage back in 2004, solely between a man and woman, ruling out same-sex marriage and making it illegal.<br /><br />The damages of the ex-gay programs:<br />- Suicides<br />- Major psychological damage<br />- Self hatred & Self harm<br />- Discrimination towards the gay community<br />- Promotion of homophobia<br />- People walking away from God and the church<br />- Influence on Australian politics and laws<br /><br />Other Australian ex-gay programs include <span style="font-style: italic;">Liberty Christian Ministries</span> led by Simon Riches, <span style="font-style: italic;">Mercy Ministries</span> which is associated with Hillsong Church and <span style="font-style: italic;">Exodus International</span>, who was once led in Australia by well known ex-gay preacher Sy Rogers. Sy Rogers also has his eyes set on Sydney, as a major speaker at the Hillsong Colour Conference to be held at the Sydney Entertainment Centre in March this year.<br /><br />2009 will see the ex-gay movement expand within Sydney and Australia and the gay community and particularly gay Christians must stand up and take action against these programs. We must do this in a spirit of love, hope and peace in order to effectively help save lives and show young GLBTIQ men and women that they are valued and loved just as they are.<br /><br />'The Hope Alliance' movement is taking action against the expansion of the ex-gay programs in Australia providing education and awareness on the harm and myths associated with ex-gay ministries and taking action against their expanding works.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br />- <a href="http://sxnews.e-p.net.au/news/alliance-to-take-on-ex-gay-groups-4930.html">Read the article <span style="font-style: italic;">'Alliance to take on ex-gay groups'</span> in </a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://sxnews.e-p.net.au/news/alliance-to-take-on-ex-gay-groups-4930.html">SX News</a><br /><br /></span>- <a href="http://thejoshy.com/?p=100">Read the media release <span style="font-style: italic;">'Program that promises to fix homosexuals expands in Sydney'</span></a><br /><br />- <a href="http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/australian-former-ex-gay-says-movement-fuels-suicides/">Damages of Australian ex-gay programs mentioned on <span style="font-weight: bold;">Truth Wins Out</span></a>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-2635801148370037632009-01-03T23:34:00.006+11:002009-01-03T23:48:57.182+11:00I love my community...<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><i style=""><span style="font-size:100%;">A look at the 2008 ‘SameSame’ Top 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbians and a young gay man lucky enough to be at this monumental event.</span> <o:p></o:p></i> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >I, Ben Gresham am proud of my community. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >A community of gay and lesbian men and women who can achieve anything.</span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8XSJanQDoQ3js4Lx1sAwNWrSeZ3nXfYbOlUJxgoZkugZf-LxoWeDtfen10o7VZ-WNSM4IWHwz9desnMydin7Be-VrZ9dljMbAd96gZJG-SP36q3wQpZ40HOstAM3XclpVkpJy35dojy0/s1600-h/graphics_f245615142556c8b17da35e3871d98d8.jpg"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8XSJanQDoQ3js4Lx1sAwNWrSeZ3nXfYbOlUJxgoZkugZf-LxoWeDtfen10o7VZ-WNSM4IWHwz9desnMydin7Be-VrZ9dljMbAd96gZJG-SP36q3wQpZ40HOstAM3XclpVkpJy35dojy0/s1600-h/graphics_f245615142556c8b17da35e3871d98d8.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 259px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8XSJanQDoQ3js4Lx1sAwNWrSeZ3nXfYbOlUJxgoZkugZf-LxoWeDtfen10o7VZ-WNSM4IWHwz9desnMydin7Be-VrZ9dljMbAd96gZJG-SP36q3wQpZ40HOstAM3XclpVkpJy35dojy0/s320/graphics_f245615142556c8b17da35e3871d98d8.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287048268611744146" border="0" /></a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" ><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >Faced with some of the greatest injustices, our community still has a long way to go until we achieve equality. The ‘SameSame’ Top 25 list showcased some of the outstanding men and women who are changing our nation and our world, breaking negative stereotypes and showing people everywhere that equality, freedom and human rights matter.<o:p></o:p></span></div></div> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >Invited by Anthony Venn-Brown, whose name appeared on the list in 2007, I was given the opportunity to see my community as they really were. The stereotypes were breaking all around me as I spoke to intelligent, powerful, talented gays and lesbians. Sure there was that bit of gay humour and some funny, perhaps inappropriate jokes, but here was a room full of people, that despite all the challenges, and hardships, have risen to the top and are influencing the way the world thinks and acts.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >Only six months before, in June 2008, I had come out to family, friends and church and yet I found myself lucky enough to be talking to some of the greatest people you will ever meet. As the night progressed, the dreams, passions and desires in my heart began to soar and I can see that what may seem impossible is actually possible. I believe that gay people have a place in the church and that homosexuality is NOT a sin or sickness. It is not a choice but it is an orientation which cannot be changed.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >Earlier this year, I had attempted suicide twice after several years of ex-gay programs and being taught to hate who I was. I almost succeeded in killing myself and I know others who have died because of the intensity of these programs and the re</span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >ality that they cannot become straight. Saving lives and preventing suicide matter.</span></p><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWU-Z7Dx9U-abyID1kaYqGrLKqFT4y-pxSeOZh6AWmuD90UglHccwlkrDGl3bjqy-RVtZScOS0EkXIAg6-Z-sLPoncMJ8XiU9oOHCZYeeCDZgDICihsQ3c85Oas0RZ9MxX1Yj3fqxc34Q/s1600-h/graphics_fad61b4c67fa9a3efb26cd98c1f96fb3.jpg"></a><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >Each of us has a part to play in our community. Whether it is a big role like being the Justice of the High Court of the Nation or a small one like selling red ribbons on World Aids Day. Everything counts. We are in this together. The stand for equality and gay rights must be taken by all of us. We can stand proud and live openly and honestly as gay men and women.</span></p> <p style="text-align: center; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWU-Z7Dx9U-abyID1kaYqGrLKqFT4y-pxSeOZh6AWmuD90UglHccwlkrDGl3bjqy-RVtZScOS0EkXIAg6-Z-sLPoncMJ8XiU9oOHCZYeeCDZgDICihsQ3c85Oas0RZ9MxX1Yj3fqxc34Q/s1600-h/graphics_fad61b4c67fa9a3efb26cd98c1f96fb3.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 248px; height: 163px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWU-Z7Dx9U-abyID1kaYqGrLKqFT4y-pxSeOZh6AWmuD90UglHccwlkrDGl3bjqy-RVtZScOS0EkXIAg6-Z-sLPoncMJ8XiU9oOHCZYeeCDZgDICihsQ3c85Oas0RZ9MxX1Yj3fqxc34Q/s320/graphics_fad61b4c67fa9a3efb26cd98c1f96fb3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287046659545000690" border="0" /></a><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:10;" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%; font-style: italic;font-size:10;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >Don’t be scared to change the world!!</span></span><b style="font-family:arial;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:10;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></span></span></b></p><p style="text-align: right;" class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family:arial;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:10;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:85%;">By Benjamin Gresham</span></span></span></b><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:10;" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:10;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5624219680272811429.post-66979114697326804312008-12-18T13:57:00.004+11:002013-08-21T23:12:39.939+10:00Being gay in a Christian family....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0wUcyx5dEN3pKdW3BdlKSry3H6MXQgO2L0m_toDEDd3rFcmPTN0uK7cFIPJDLBjSIlE_LK9opYurcsbEdkT6Aj-nY9W_tzwBRIKxN-iksyaagOrRKNAQ6l2qIk-FS0x6iA4ujcaYs8qw/s1600-h/P1000625.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280970750110245122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0wUcyx5dEN3pKdW3BdlKSry3H6MXQgO2L0m_toDEDd3rFcmPTN0uK7cFIPJDLBjSIlE_LK9opYurcsbEdkT6Aj-nY9W_tzwBRIKxN-iksyaagOrRKNAQ6l2qIk-FS0x6iA4ujcaYs8qw/s200/P1000625.JPG" style="float: left; height: 200px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 150px;" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">My family are all Christians, my mother and father grew up in the church and were taught to believe the basic fundamental things such as creation, the fall of man and the sacrifice of Jesus to save the world. Around that time, homosexuality was still considered illegal. Not only was it seen by those in the church as an 'abomination' and sin but it was also seen by society as a mental disorder and something that was illegal. Homosexuality was not decriminalised in the state of New South Wales until 1984 (AIC, 1991). Many gay men and women during that time were kicked out of churches, beaten and locked up by police and persecuted by the 'average' Australian. My parents were brought up in that society, in that church culture. They were taught to see homosexuality as a mental disorder, something illegal, unnatural and an 'abomination'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">In reality, as a gay community we have come a long way since then, even Christians have come a long way towards being more compassionate towards gay and lesbian people. There is still a long way to go but we will get there. My parents to my surprise have become my biggest support in the coming out process. Yes they are bible believing Christians but they too have come along way in their faith and in the value they place upon all individuals. They understand that this world is not black or white but full of shades of grey.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Growing up my dad was the kind of father that would ridicule characters like 'Jack' on 'Will & Grace' and think flamboyant gays had something wrong with them. I remember driving down Oxford Street as a young boy, knowing I was gay but too scared to say anything. My dad would point out the window to the gay men holding hands and kissing and yell at them and tell me and my sister how disgusting it was....</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">My mother never talked about it much but kept to herself on the issues of homosexuality. Like most Christians, she honestly was confused about the whole topic and had no idea what to believe. They don't teach you in the church that gay men and women can be amazing, influential and make a positive difference to the world and certainly the words 'gay' and 'Christian' are two things that can never be said together....</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">My father has been one of my greatest supports and allies in helping to make a positive difference in the church and in society. His transformation from a homophobic man to a man that embraces gay people has no doubt been extraordinary. Since I came out he has been able to see people in general in a whole new light. Never more will he condemn the prostitute or persecute the homosexual. Coming out has a powerful effect on all individuals.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">My mother has also been such a wonderful support in this. Her knowledge of the bible and of history, context and culture is remarkable and she has helped me, along with many others understand the bible as it truly is. As a straight woman with a gay son...this has not been easy on her. Her dreams for me of having a wife and family are no longer possible but I believe as old dreams die, new ones appear. Her compassion and the love of Jesus she has shown me has given me hope to make it through each day. I am truly blessed.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Before I came out to my parents, I organised a place to stay, thinking that they would kick me out of home and disown me....I am sure many gay men and women reading this believe their parents would do the same thing....don't be so sure. I do not promise that coming out will be easy for anyone and it certainly wasn't for me but have hope in your parents. They love you and you are their child...They may not accept or embrace you immediately but give them time....their own kind of 'coming out' process.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;">For help in how to come out to your parents.....check out my story and letter in the link below:</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.freedom2b.org/forums/coming-out-to-christian-parents-t188/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'COMING OUT TO CHRISTIAN PARENTS' - Ben Gresham & Freedom2b</span></a>Ben Greshamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07488950997662016602noreply@blogger.com4