NEW POSTS COMING SOON

Hi all,

life is going really well at the moment. I have had my share of challenges and excitement and can't wait to share with you how the last 6 months has been in the life of a gay christian.

NEW POSTS IN COMING WEEKS:
- The Australian Gay Christian Movement
- Jesus in the bedroom (Are gay's different to straights?)
- The links between ex-gay programs and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
- The daily struggle of a gay Christian
- Freedom 2 b[e] Youth: The Reason a place for gay christian youth is needed in our society.

Check out for them on here soon. I will try and post two entries a week and get this blog happening again.

With love,
Ben Gresham

The Hope Alliance - LAUNCHING SOON

The Hope Alliance will be launching officially in late June this year. We aim to set up a website, an action group and an education team to bring hope to the many indiciduals and their families affected by ex-gay ministries.

Our goals fall under

- Education

- Action

- Awareness

We will work with GLBTIQ organisations and individuals as well as churches and former ex-gay leaders to generate a message of hope for the men and women who are facing spiritual abuse, persecution and descrimination because of their sexual orientation.

The Hope Alliance is a movement, NOT an organisation. We are not tied to any GLBT groups or any church denominations. We are just an alliance of individuals willing to fight injustice in our city, in our churches, in our community. 

The HOPE Alliance is establishing itself as an movement that combats the expansion of the ex-gay programs, educating both Christian and secular Australians about the damage they cause.

We believe it is important to give people struggling with their faith and sexuality opportunity to access information and support from various Christian and secular organisations.

We state emphatically that people who are same-sex attracted, queer, homosexual, bisexual and transgendered do not need to try and change their sexual orientation or their sexuality. We also believe that attempts by homosexuals to become opposite-sex attracted are not successful and instead cause a lot of psychological damage and pain.

“You’ve got to give them HOPE” – Harvey Milk

For more information email THA at: thehopealliance@gmail.com

WEBSITE & YOUTUBE CHANNEL COMING MID 2009

"The movement begins with us....individuals standing up for justice, giving hope to others" - Ben Gresham (2009)

LAUNCHING MID 2009

A Gay Christian in the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras

On the 7th March 2009, I marched in my first Mardi Gras with the group Freedom 2 b[e]. For me this was an event surrounded in excitement, fear, anticipation, doubt, love and uncertainty.

Growing up in a predominantly Christian household, Mardi Gras was always seen as an evil, wicked event for the homosexuals. Was told often "it's disgusting" or more commonly "pray for rain so that the devil may not do his work".

And here I was about to march in something that was meant to be 'evil'. I sat there in the marshalling area and it all became too much. Those fears and uncertainties were surrounding me as I questioned whether or not I was doing the right thing. I was in a Tee, shorts and a cap, like many of the other Freedom 2 b[e] group, while many other groups were wearing little more than speedos or undies. I wondered if this is really where a Christian should be....

I gathered a group of about 5 or 6 people together and we just started praying. As we prayed I knew that God's love, strength and hope was with us and at that moment we knew we had to march. We could not pull out. We had to be the light and pour out love to all who were there, showing the gay community that God really does love them. 

Marching was an amazing experience. For me, it helped me gain a greater sense of self acceptance and hope as a gay man. It also helped me to understand that even in the midst of uncertainty and fear, God is with us. Jesus holds you and me close and he will never let us go. He is there with open arms to comfort us when we are weak.

As I walked down Oxford Street, I looked around and caught glimpses of people that I knew. Uni friends, school mates and mates from the gay community were there. All cheering me on. Even my parents were watching on TV, cheering for me. I had never felt so liberated in my entire life!!

I also caught the eyes of some people in the crowd that connected with our message. By marching we were being voices for them, giving them hope, showing them that God has never stopped loving them for being gay. Jesus was always there, even though the church may have rejected them. 

PLEASE TAKE TIME TO WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW...

Church aims to "change" gays featuring Ben Gresham

Above: Ron & Ruth Brookman

Source: Fairfax Media, 2009.

Church aims to "change" gays

BY ALICIA WOOD

27/03/2009 5:02:00 PM

A RAMSGATE church has attracted national attention for its programs to guide people out of sexual "brokenness''.

Of most controversy is a program to help homosexuals overcome same-sex attraction.

But director of Living Waters ministries, Ron Brookman, said the controversy was misdirected.

Mr Brookman married his second wife, Ruth, in 1994, and the pair have three children. But he said he can recall being attracted to men from age five.

"I believe homosexuality is a tendency, not a tyranny,'' Mr Brookman said.

After successfully completing the program, Mr Brookman said he had not acted on homosexual impulses.

"I'm so thankful to God, and I want to proclaim his goodness, and give other people hope that change is possible,'' he said.

"The years I was gay were the worst of my life ... This is the happiest time of my life.''

A Sutherland Shire man, 40, who did not wish to be named, completed the Living Waters program and is now married with two children.

He said he was never content with his life as a homosexual man.

"The gay scene is known for its promiscuity and for its lack of commitment. There were days where I had more casual encounters than people have hot meals in a day,'' he said.

"But I dealt with depression, I felt suicidal, because the lifestyle I had conflicted with what I believed in my heart.''

Ben Gresham, 20, went to programs similar to Living Waters. But for him, they did more harm than good.

"I had really bad depression when I realised nothing was changing, and I started to self harm. Then I started to attempt suicide. I thought because I couldn't change, I needed to be punished.''

He was jolted out of his fixation with change when a fellow program member committed suicide.

Lloyd Jones, 24, was encouraged to embrace his homosexuality when his mother came out as a lesbian after experiencing many conversion programs, including Living Waters.

Despite their experiences, both Lloyd and Ben said they believed that people who ran conversion programs were only trying to do good.

STRAIGHT TALK

Living Waters began as part of Exodus International, an inter-denominational Christian organisation founded in 1976.

It came to Australia in 1972 to help homosexuals change their sexual orientation.

Using Christian counselling and prayer, it is a six-month program that encourages people to confess homosexual acts or impulses and pray for healing.

For some time it was offered as a referral service from Hillsong Church, but this is no longer the case.

WANT TO SEE FULL ARTICLE & MAKE A COMMENT?

GO TO: The Leader: 'Church aims to "change" gays'

Ben Gresham on YouTube

To see more videos:

GO TO: Youtube - Gay Christian?

And We Marched Forward....

MARDI GRAS 2009 POST COMING SOON!!!!

The lead up to Mardi Gras 2009...

Excitement and Fear, Hope and Sadness, Joy and Pain....
Some of the emotions running through my head as the countdown to the 2009 Mardi Gras comes even closer..

As I think of the many reasons I am marching...

I think back on this time only one year ago...

March 2008:
After leaving my third year of reparative ex-gay therapy in January, I had just attempted suicide for the second time. My car had been written off in the crash with my back and neck hurt and with many bruises and my wrists were covered with scars from all the self harm. My future was hopeless. I was not 'out' to anyone outside of my church. My friend was dead, I was on high doses of anti depressants and I was not sure if I believed in God anymore...How could a God of love cause me so much pain??

My view of myself was that I was a failure to God. I was gay and I couldn't change. I had done something wrong. I deserved to be punished for being gay because being gay was not 'right' in the eyes of the Lord. These are some of the things I believed at the time, only a year ago.

'Coming out' to Early 09:
After coming out in June, with the help of Jesus, Anthony Venn-Brown and Freedom 2 b[e], I worked through my conflicts between my faith and sexuality. It was a long and difficult process but overall it helped me learn about love, compassion, hope and that I was loved, even as a gay man, especially as a gay man by an amazing God who has plans and purposes for my life. That being gay is not a sin or sickness. It is who I am. And God loves me for that!!

I started to share with others my story, the ex-gay programs, suicide attempts and my love for Jesus and people listened and found hope in a reconciled faith and sexuality. I spoke at Freedom 2 b[e], MCC Sydney, to friends at Hillsong, and to students and lecturers at Southern Cross bible college. My story was giving people hope and helping to break down barriers between the church and the gay community. Having power beyond anything I could have imagined.

Through Anthony, somehow I ended up on ABC Television and was featured on 'The Hack Half Hour' and soon after on Triple J radio. My story was being told and people were gaining hope and understanding. I remember praying before the filming of the show in a small room at ABC Studios. Praying that by telling my story, people would know that they are loved as they are by a God who does not condemn homosexuals.

After the show, the phone calls, emails and friend requests started popping up everywhere. One mother in Western Australia emailed me to tell me how proud of me she was and that it helped her understand her gay son better. A young bible college student in South Australia wrote me asking me for help in dealing with gay and lesbian youth. A 29 year old woman who had gone to Mercy Ministries, was hurt by their ex-gay program and was so scared to go back to church but my story helped her get back to God. A father who was now able to see his gay son in a whole new light and try and communicate with him after years of rejection because of his strong religious beliefs. And an Sydney Anglican pastor who used to preach that gay was a sin and send parishioners to ex-gay programs, sent me a facebook message saying 'sorry' and asking for help in how to teach God's word more faithfully.

The story even went internationally, as a young man in Arizona, United States saw my 'Coming Out' letter on the Freedom 2 b[e] website and told me that it had helped him 'come out' to his parents and go back to church for one more go with God. Also a teenage boy in the Phillipenes found hope to keep going even when everything was against him.

I could never have imagined what God would do through me, through my story. I am so humbled by the experience and motivated to keep going and help others. Jesus' main command is 'Love God & Love Others' and I pray that continues to always be my goal.

During those months I had started my first real relationship with Rob. With him, I realised that the love that two people can have for each other, even if it is two men...it's too beautiful to say that it's wrong. I remember looking into Rob's eyes and thanking God for something I never thought was possible. To me, the relationship wasn't about physical attraction or lust but it was about two hearts connecting with love for one another. It didn't seem as wrong or 'evil' as they told me it would be in church. It was the opposite. It was beautiful, special, pure. Gay relationships were not wrong. They were a blessing.

In early 2009, along with Penny Davis and Joshua Bates, we started 'The Hope Alliance'. This social justice movement aims to educate the church, secular and gay communities about the existence and danger of 'ex-gay' programs and take action against the planned expansion of the ex-gay movement in Sydney, Australia. In January 'The Hope Alliance' took out a press release and the movement officially started. This appeared in 'SX News' and was brought to the attention of many well-known gay and lesbian people, media sources and churches. This sparked conversation and in February, prompted journalist, Katrina Fox to write an article for the Sydney Morning Herald (which is Sydney's most widely read newspaper). It appeared on page 12 and the news was getting out there and people were finding hope..

Now - March 2009
Well...so much has happened in the last year.
The future is ahead of me and I am ready...What's next?

Well the Mardi Gras parade to start with..

Why am I marching??
- Because I am finally living in freedom!
- Because I love my gay community!
- Because I love God!
- Because we need to speak for those who cannot!
- To stand up for humanity and for equality!

I am Ben Gresham
I am a homosexual
I know my God loves me
I AM FREE!!